I have been meaning to post but I am so busy. Tonight I take the time because I am too exhausted to do anything else and I am waiting on a Boy Scout Class A uniform to wash and dry for Noah's backpacking trip this weekend. He loves this and it so nice to see him passionate about something. This is one area where we do not have to remind him and stay on him about doing things, he does it all independently. Last time he bought some very yucky and somewhat expensive freeze dried food. This time he is going to live on Ramen noodles and Grits ( yes we are southern!). They are lightweight, easy to cook and he likes them. I will be sure to have him a good meal when he gets home Sunday!


Tonight Wyatt was praying at bedtime. He almost always prays for the same things; Lily, the children who don't have food and no mommies and daddies, Jackson (a friend at school that hurt his head) etc. He didn't seem to want to stop praying so he started trying to come up with things. Finally with his last sentence he said, "and help Mason stop saying bad words". Mmmm now that was a good one. Seems my youngest has the biggest potty mouth. He picks up on these words and uses them a lot more than I can stand. Dum dum, stupid, and dummy seem to be his favorites. I cannot get him to stop. I have tried all the other tactics I used with my older kids that worked but they don't on him. Part of the problem is that he has been exposed to them at a much younger age than they were and so he just doesn't quite understand (i think) what he is saying. I guess Wyatt has added another great prayer request to his line up...maybe that will help.

Today as I was driving I realized that in 22 days I will be on a flight heading to China. As my 3 year old would put it, 22 days is not a lot. I agree and I can't wait.

Tomorrow I have to go to a Neonatal Loss class. I am sort of, kind of dreading it. I am afraid I will get emotional and that it will bring old emotions from when we lost our little girl in pregnancy. I have been preparing myself mentally so I am hoping I will be okay. I have been warned to bring tissues. I have not had a patient with a neonatal loss yet but I have watched another nurse take care of a precious little 22 week old baby that had died. It was not as scary as I was afraid it was going to be. Neonatal Loss is one of the hardest things as a L&D nurse I will have to deal with. I will never forget the first time I was in a patients room when they found out their baby was dead, we couldn't find a heart beat, I knew just how devastating that was. As a nurse you feel helpless. There is nothing you can do or say to make it better.

I know this post is all over the place, this is just what is on my mind tonight. The shirt is done and I am tired so off to bed I go! Good night!

6- The first number on the clock this morning when the boys woke up.
5-The number of baskets sitting in front of the fireplace last night.
4-The number of hiding places the Easter Bunny had to find to hide the baskets.
48-The number of Peeps the Easter Bunny brought the boys.
12-The number of Peeps eaten before breakfast.
4-The number of chocolate bunnies and lip pops in the baskets.
2- The number of bunny ears in the baskets.
3-The number of minutes it took for them to go through their whole basket!
1- The number of baskets that sat undiscovered in front of the fireplace because it's recipient is in Ch*na.
2-The number of parents that enjoyed their kids faces and got a few laughs in the process.


I have to work at 7am tomorrow so John and I called the Easter Bunny and asked him to come see us Friday night instead of Saturday night. The Easter Bunny was thrilled to do it a day early and have one less house to visit on Saturday. The boys were so excited last night (even our non-believers) they had trouble going to bed. It actually turned out to be very nice to wake up to the Easter Bunny this morning without the mad dash to get ready for church. We might do this in the future so we can spend the Sunday of Easter only celebrating the resurrection of Jesus and the true meaning of Easter. It was also nice because they all got water guns and were able to go outside this morning and play with them.

(i would post photos but i cannot find my cord or it is broken)

I got an email this morning from the lady that was taking Lily the letter. Turns out the letter didn't translate so well. Baba which is what Chinese children call their dad translated in character to yeast rice cake. That gave me a good laugh. Can you imaging if I had sent that:

Love, Yeast rice cake ( I can just imagine their faces)

But then we got the best surprise. One of the members who have adopted from Lily's orphanage ( just recently- the one who took the pictures for us) offered to have her mom look at it. Then all of a sudden it is in my inbox. Translated. A translation I know I can trust. I am just amazed at how awesome the adoption network is. You just cannot imagine all the support. It is great.
I would post the letter in Chinese. But I cannot figure out how to do it, sorry. I wish I could because it is so cool!

We do not have our official itinerary yet and probably won't get it for a while because our caseworker is in China. She is in the process of meeting a lot of new kids for CWA's Hope Project.
The last Hope Project was a success and this time they will have more kids with a wider age range. Anyway, what we do know is this: We will leave on May 8th at 0730 from our hometown ( yea! I really thought we would have to travel to get a decent ticket). We will arrive in Bejing Saturday afternoon. Our flight from Chicago to Bejing is 14 hours, OUCH! I have only flown twice and either time was less than 3 hours. We will stay in Bejing until Monday morning then fly to Guangzhou and meet Lily that afternoon. From that point on she will be with us, forever. We will stay in Guangzhou until May 21st when we fly out in the early morning and arrive home 10:30 that night. At this time I do not know for sure what else we will be doing but usually the families go to THE GREAT WALL, Tianemen Square and the Forbidden City while in Bejing and other trip while in Guangzhou. We have requested a side trip to visit her orphanage which is about 2 hours away, we are hoping we will be able to, if we feel she can handle it.

Today we booked our flights for China and sent off our payment to Sunshine Travel.
We were pleased and thought the price was reasonable. I can't believe we are actually at this point. Tonight I wrote a letter to Lily, very short and sweet and had it translated online. Another parent adopting from Lily's orphange is going next week and offered to take the letter and some stickers I sent to her. I started making my to do list, and surprisingly it is not as overwhelming as I thought. Thankfully I had done more than I realized along the way. The main thing I have to do is get everything in order to leave our other children here in the care of grandparents. I want to make it easy on them so I am trying to have everything lined out.

Tonight john and i were putting the boys to bed. wyatt started naming off on each finger the people he loved. after naming 10 he said, "and no more 'cause i got no more fingers".

mason fell down a few steps today. i picked him and cradled him in my lap and he said, "i need my icee" (masonise for Ice pack). this child uses ice packs almost everyday on some boo boo. he is obsessed with them. i have had to buy a few more so we always have some in the freezer.

Everytime the phone rang today I got butterflies.I have been so anxious about getting our TA. I finally gave in at 2:30 and called our caseworker. Understandably she was on the phone sharing good news with families that have been waiting 37 months for their NSN adoptions. She called me right back and shared the good news that our TA did arrive today. We will leave for China on May 8th and return to the USA on May 21st. I cannot tell you how I felt when I heard that. It was just a huge relief! We are finally going to China to get our girl!!!!!!!

I have high hopes for today!
Where oh where is our TA?
They say it's been mailed,
But who can tell,
Where Oh where is our TA?

Travel Approval (TA)- noun, The thing Chinese Adoptive families must have to go to China and get there daughter or son is waiting for them in an orphanage.
In a way it is the last step before going to China. It is desparately desired and is way past due!



On another note. I met a family online through an unofficial blog of our agency. They are supposed to be getting their TA also. They have older daughters and are heading to China for their little man. I think we will be traveling together which is great, John and I were first told we would be traveling alone (not happy) but it appears we will be traveling with 2 other families (happy). This family will even be staying in the same hotel for possibly the whole trip. We are not sure who the third family is. Hoping to find out today, if of course that TA arrives!

Trying something new here. This fun little blog has photography contests every week. I was in the mood for something fun, here is my contribution this week. Please go to their site and check it out!


www.iheartfaces.blogspot.com

This is my sweet niece, tired of her auntie taking pictures of her with my new camera. She has the poutiest lips! And you gotta love those eyes!

Today I was driving home from work and I started to think about what I thought I would be doing today. I thought we would be in China preparing to meet our daughter tomorrow. Then I started to think about what that is really going to be like. Like many adoptive parents I often focus on being home with Lily I forget to imagine the exact moment mother-daughter and father-daughter meet will be like. I have heard many adoptive parents say that they cannot find words to express how meeting their child feels. It is so overwhelming and emotional. Even though we are not meeting our daughter tomorrow I will be thinking of her all day. May is not that far and I know we will be meeting her soon, I really wanted to get her now but now I see maybe I actually needed more time. I just hope she hasn't given up on us and knows we are still coming for her.

I had an interesting conversation with my two big boys on the way to the store last night.
Noah said he knew what he wanted from the "Easter Bunny". (the comment was a little odd anyway because our kids don't ask for anything from the EB, they get what they get). The way he said it was with an emphasis on the Easter Bunny in a way that made me look at him. I said what do you mean by "Easter Bunny"? He said well I don't really believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause maybe a little but not the Easter Bunny, think about how old I am. Well I thought it was time so I was glad, we'll just keep this little thing going for a few more years for the BB (baby boys). Then he and Sellers continued to have a conversation about what they believe in and what they don't. To my surprise they may not believe in some things but they told me they wholeheartedly believe in Leprechauns. What???? Seriously he said if he was Swedish or something he might not believe in Leprechauns but since he is mostly Irish he does believe in them. His arguments as to why they exist cracked me up, how is it this very intelligent child could possibly believe in Leprechauns when he doesn't believe in the EB and SC? Too funny.

Last night I was awoken, two things were on my mind. Travel Approval and Stellan. Well sadly the news on Stellan is not very good. I encourage you to pray for this family, they have an amazing story. I am not sure how I learned of their story last year, I think through another site but it is quite a story. Unfortunately this family is facing serious health issues with their infant son. He is in the hospital now with a serious heart condition. This family has a strong relationship with God and have been a witness on their blog for some time.

Now on to the Travel Approval. Well this morning I emailed my caseworker. I asked her several questions and expressed my concerns for not having our TA yet. Within 2 hours I got the BEST news!!!!

OUR TRAVEL APPROVAL IS SOON ON THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our agency heard from the CCAA (the agency that handles China adoptions) and they were told our TA is being signed and mailed. We should get it soon! Just knowing it is truly on it's way is such a relief! We will travel and be back before our immigration papers expire! I am so excited! First I cried, then I called John. We are just thrilled to know everything is OK.

I know most people that read my blog (if anyone actually does :0) ) doesn't really understand what adoptive parents go through. Adoption is hard, hard, hard. Very different from carrying my bio boys because I knew it would end at 9 months. Adoption can go on FOREVER. It is so hard to see all these pictures of Lily and not have her here. She is our daughter, sister, granddaughter and cousin. We all think of her and pray for her daily. I love her so much and I have never held her, never heard her voice, never played with her or taken care of her. It is so hard to explain but so true. Our and her adjustment to life together here may be a bumpy ride but I am ready to jump on. Now please China, I have been patient but we are ready to go get our daughter! Please send us our Travel Approval! Please!

OK, now I feel better. We are having the most fantastic weather here and it appears that Spring has arrived. We may have a little cold snap here and there but the flowers are coming up and the trees are blooming! This weekend we put up a hammock. We love it and the kids and I have had fun relaxing in it. If you don't have one I would highly recommend one. We also bought some more plants for the yard and it is a gradual process. The boys are starting their garden. In the little greenhouse starter kits they planted cucumber, watermelon, tomatoes and I forgot what else. They love it. Last year they only planted tomatoes and it was awesome always having fresh tomatoes! We are going to attempt a little more this year and will probably add year after year until we get it just right. I love this time of year when the world around me awakens.

Are you like me? You put something up in a "special" place and then cannot find it. I do it ALL.THE.TIME! I have yet to find the instruction Manuel to my new camera. Today it was the cord for my camera to hook it up to my computer so I could download pictures. I looked in all my usual places. I couldn't find it anywhere yet I knew I had put it somewhere "special". Thirty minutes later I finally found it. Not in a special place at all but in the junk drawer in my kitchen. Somewhere I look nearly everyday.That is so typical of me! Well I finally downloaded pictures and am going to share some here they are from the last 5 months...

Playing in the fall leaves...

The boys using their imagination, Wyatt was loving the attention.The kids all get an ornament on Christmas Eve. Noah is hanging Lily's on the tree.The boys with their cousins and neighbors playing in our rare snowfall. It was gone by midday.This is a card Sellers made for a girl at school. I found it in his cubbie when I was straightening up one night before bed. I had to take a picture to have a record of it. I especially love how he spells. I call it southern phonics. Shugr is priceless!Wyatt's first bubble gun, he used it until the batteries died, it was a big hit!Me, my dad, and my brother Chris on my dad's 65th Birthday!Papa blowing out the candles with all his grandchildren. (missing Lily though of course)One morning after working late Sellers burst into my room at 7am to ask me what he could do because he was bored. I snapped at him and laid in bed. I was about to get up to apologize to him and here he comes walking into my room with breakfast in bed. This boy is so thoughtful and forgiving.Wyatt picked up a bucket in the garage one day and said "mom, how come we don't got no sand in our yard to play with"? The next weekend John did this. Very simple but they stayed in the sandbox for hours.This is my favorite picture of Lily. We got it yesterday. It is a picture of her when she received our package. She is carrying it and has the best smile. Seeing her face makes it worth every ridiculous penny it cost to send her that package.

I have been so busy, which is probably a good thing so I wouldn't think too much about the fact that I am not going to China in the next 2 weeks like I thought I was. I am really okay with it now because time is flying so I know that the day will quickly approach for us to leave.
Things are going really well at work. I like it a lot and feel like I am learning but it is A LOT to learn and it will take a long time before I can birth a baby by myself (nurse wise). I have the sweetest preceptor, she is so patient with me and does a great job teaching me. Sometimes I have to be pushed because I still like to have her right there if I need her. There is a lot I am doing independently and I feel like I am in a good place for having been there a month.

Since we are not going to China until May we decided we are not going to put Lily in public school this fall. We do not feel that this is enough time for her to get ready. We are going to home school her and send her to a 3 hour church kindergarten at the school the baby boys go to. We think it is the best thing to help reinforce those early skills. After that year we will decide where to go from there. I feel much better about this because I was very nervous about her going to regular school for so many hours a day so soon. I also like the idea of her having some additional biblical learning. Most likely she has never heard of Jesus or the Bible so it will be nice to have her exposed to that more too.

Tonight we are celebrating for St. Patrick's Day. We don't normally do this but I was in the mood to celebrate. We are having Corn Beef, Cabbage, Rice, cornbread, green cupcakes, and green kool-aid. My brother and his family are coming over so it should be fun. I will take some pictures and maybe download them here. I have been so lazy about posting pictures...if only I could get my camera to do what I want it t

I have managed to look for the positives in not going to China until May because it looks like that will be it. I chased away the grey cloud and am just looking forward to the day we do go. I know that when she is here and with us the wait will be long forgotten. I just hope she is not in China thinking we are not coming. It would break my heart. If we receive our TA ever then we will hopefully be leaving on May 8th and most probably get Lily the day after Mothers Day!

Gotta go to bed because I have to get up early to work my first weekend. Thankfully I won't have to do it too often because people like working the weekend for the extra diff.

This little grey cloud has been chasing me. I could see it. I could feel it. I didn't want it to get me. I was doing okay until this morning when I learned that our agency would not allow travel from mid April to First of May. With that I knew that we were in bad shape. With no TA now it was possibly going to be May before we went to China. Suddenly that grey cloud grew bigger and heavier. I was at work with a lot of people who don't know me well and certainly don't understand how I feel. I tried to explain it like this: It is like going to the doctor at 9 months pregnant, you are so excited because you know any day you are going to meet your precious baby and then the doctor looks at you and says, I am sorry you are going to have to carry your baby 2 more months. (I do work in L&D after all) All day I fought back tears and exchanged emails with my agency. Tonight as I read my email from them it seems that we are not going until May. I am so disappointed. I am trying to see the positives of this (are there?) and know that this is the way God planned it from the beginning. I am just praying for a miracle.

On a side note: I got an email today from the agency that sent our care package to Lily, she got it and they have a whole camera worth of pictures for us. That might just help me get through this or make it worse. Who knows?

Chinese has got to be the hardest language to learn. We have been trying to learn some but I am sure that with our southern accents Lily will just look at us like we are crazy. For some reason the sounds are just so hard to make. I really want to learn certain things before we go but I don't know. It has taken 3 lessons to just learn 3 words or phrases.

Ni Hao
Ni Hao Ma
Xie Xie

I cannot imagine what it is going to be like to have a 7 year old child that we do not share the same language. I know it will be hard but we will get through it. I just keep thinking about a benefit that I read on a bloggy friends post. She was actually thankful for the language difference because it forced them to look at each other more and gesture and touch more. I have been holding on to that but I am not feeling too comfident that I am going to learn anything useful by the time we go!

I cannot sleep at night there is so much on my mind.
Lily. The boys.
Traveling to China.
The dangers of the pond across the street.
My job.
John's job. (his company was just bought, they will layoff 16,000-yikes!)
The faces of the children on THE JOURNEY who are so hungry.
The teens that are abusing our neighborhood.
Your plan for me, is it what I think?
The headlines. Scary, just scary.

When I cannot sleep I pray, pray, pray and finally I peacefully drift off to sleep.
I cannot imagine having so much on my mind and no one to turn to.
Thank you for the peace, for holding me in the palm of your hand. I still worry but deep down I know it will all be alright.

Where o where has out TA gone, Where o where can it be?

I really thought we would get it this week. I was surprised when this week came and went and still no Travel Approval. I don't know now if we will be able to make it to China in March, we may not be able to go until April and that makes me sad. Seeing these pictures of Lily the last few weeks makes me more anxious than ever to go get her. I am going to give it this week since we had to deal with the Chinese New Year during our wait but if Friday comes and goes and no TA, I am going to be seriously disappointed!

You just gotta love the South, my kids are out of school today. School was canceled because our often gets it wrong weather people predicted lots of SNOW! We awoke this morning to NO SNOW, none at all. No surprise here. That is what southerners are used to. I hope they are right when they predicted that Saturday will be 78 degrees! Now that's the weather I want to see!

Wyatt has been talking a lot lately about going to Columbia to get married. I don't know where this all came from but the things he says cracks me up, like:

On the phone with his Nama he said out of the blue, "you better miss me when I go to Columbia to get married". Or...

When I was putting him to bed one night and he said, "I'm going to Columbia to get married next Friday". Or...

When I was looking at something on my computer and he saw a picture of a little girl he said, "that's the girl I'm gonna marry, the one with long hair".

I can't help but engage him in conversation about this, I even filmed it because he is so funny.
Apparently next Friday he is going to Columbia (which he says is very far away) to marry a girl with long brown hair, he doesn't know her name, he is going to live in her room and she is going to live downstairs, he has about $1.50 to take care of her (which he claims is enough) and we better miss him.

You may have seen this already but it is going around on some of the blogs I read and I thought it was so fun. Google your name followed by needs. See what pops up and then pick the first ten that make sense. I laughed at Rebecca's and was curious what came up on mine. Since I share a name with some famous folks I got some interesting results these were the first ten, that I liked, made sense and were appropriate for my blog.

Jennifer needs a smack daddy. (too funny- )

Jennifer needs to play by the rules.

Jennifer needs to give birth in the next week. (ok not me but one of my patients)

Jennifer needs to accept that she's gained what looks like some major pounds. (my personal favorite-can you think of what famous Jennifer this was referring too?)

Jennifer needs a Tony award.

Jennifer needs a shave.

Jennifer needs a muzzle. (yea, it's that putting your foot in your mouth disease I am guilty of)

Jennifer needs your prayers.

Jennifer needs to develop age appropriate language for school situations. (again- foot in the mouth)

Jennifer needs some time to herself. (Amen!)

Give it a try it is so fun!

Sellers and I were waiting on Noah in the car. We started looking at You Tube and typed in China Orphans. I selected an orphans dance video and we watched. Sellers was very interested. After a few minutes he asked "are those the orphans mom?", referring to the dozen or so children sitting against the wall. "Yes, and the children dancing are". Sellers asked "those are children"?. "yes, Sellers they are older. They are probably 12 or older.". "You mean those children still have no parents"? he said. "No, They don't. There are a lot of older children that never get adopted Sellers, it's sad isn't it?. Without hesitation he said, "when I grow up I'm going to adopt lots of them. Is there a limit to how many you can adopt mom?". It had never occurred to him that some children would spend their entire life in an orphanage without a family.

I wish that I could post them here to share with all but we recieved 3 new pictures of Lily today. They are posted on our private blog. Go see them. If you do not have access to that blog and would like to please email me.

Wyatt is so loving. He always shares with people how he feels about you and probably says 5 times a day- Mom, do you know how much I love you? Today he threw me for a loop when he said this, it melted my heart.

Wyatt: Mom, do you know why I love you?
Mom: Why?
Wyatt: 'Cause you're my Best Friend.

Awww, isn't that so sweet. I picked him up and cuddled him and said, "you're my best friend too Wyatt".

I heard from Blessed Kids and paid for the translation and pictures. I should recieve them in 24-48 hours she said. I will try to restrain myself from checking my email every 5 minutes.

I didn't write this and am not sure where it originated but I thought it was so funny, especially for us China adoptive parents.

YOU MIGHT BE ADOPTING FROM CHINA IF.......

you know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways.....

you've been expecting a baby for over 3 years.....

you understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world.....

you've "paid for" 3 citizenships, but never brought anyone into the U.S.....

you know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Dillards or dishes....

your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4)....

you never know how many days next month will have....

you know that babies come in batches....

you've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime....

you automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl....

you own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons (because you don't know when or how big)....
.
you look twice when you see a lady bug....

you're more interested in what will happen in March 2006 than in March 2009....

you know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months....

your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years....

you know who the Rumor Queen is ... AND ... you don't know who she is....

you know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather....

you've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if they changed....

trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles....

when you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA updates & referrals.

And You might be adopting from China if you love someone you've never met with all your heart.

I won't go into details here but I got an email from Blessed Kids this morning and they have pictures and updated information on Lily. I am not sure how or why, and it makes me wonder how complete strangers can get more information about my daughter than I can, BUT I am excited. She is going to translate the information, I will pay a small fee and the info is mine. I am checking my email often waiting.....I'm so excited! When I get them I will probably post them to the Loving Lily site.

Well I almost officially feel like a nurse ;0). I have been on the Labor and Delivery floor two days this week and have had many different experiences and I really love it! I was able to help deliver a baby this morning and it was awesome! Babies are so perfect and sweet, it is a good thing we are "fixed" or I might be pining for another one someday. (not really! Biologically -WE ARE DONE!)

This past week I got an email from someone who is going to get their daughter from Lily's orphanage on the 23rd. I am excited because she is going to visit the orphanage on the 26th or 27th and is going to try to meet Lily and take updated photos of her! How exciting! I hope she is able to, I am dying to know how she has changed since her referral pictures. I also will post some information soon about our travel website and how to access it.

I have to Thank Sarah, a fellow blogger for helping me solve yet another problem around here. Cups. I believe I was washing about 20 cups a day and I am NOT joking! I kept trying to teach the boys to stick with one cup a day but I think they kept forgetting which one they were using so they just grabbed another. This was driving us crazy. I almost put up all the cups and was going to paper but I hated to waste that much paper. Then Sarah, who also has a large family suggested we keep a water bottle for each kid in the fridge and they stick to that one water bottle. Why didn't I think of that??? This week we went to Target and everyone picked out a water bottle. We have Cars, Spiderman, Camp Rock and a plain grey one (we even went ahead and picked up a Hello Kitty one for Lily). The beauty of it is it worked! They took to this idea quickly and a bonus is they are drinking more water! Thanks Sarah!

Oh and about my sink...I am thrilled to say that idea worked too. Of course it takes a little more effort but After almost two weeks I have no dishes in my sink and I even took the tape down. I have only had about 8 in there the whole time. What a difference!

Spend it with those you love, I am.

A while back I mentioned a blog. It is in my blogs that inspire me list. Please go read it now if you haven't already, especially her recent updates (jan. and feb.). Every time I read her posts I am amazed.If you want to see God at work go there, I believe you will be amazed too. Her ministry is such an inspiration to do something. How one little person with nothing has changed the lives and futures of so many.Her stories are so amazing they are almost hard to believe, only God.
It is listed as The Journey, check it out!

Many of you have probably noticed Wyatt's front tooth was badly chipped. When he was about 19 months he fell off the top of a slide at the gym and chipped it. At the time it was pretty bad but the dentist thought he was too little to do anything, they needed to wait on his 2 year molars to come in to have anywhere to attach a pedi partial. Gradually the tooth died. I had gotten used to his snaggle tooth as we called it but more and more of it started to chip away. We recently decided to go ahead and spend the RIDICULOUS amount of cash (no insurance for this one!) to get him the pedi partial. Today he had the rest of the tooth pulled and they took impressions for the RIDICULOUSLY priced pedi partial. In 6-8 weeks (probably while we are in China) his new little tooth will come in and TADA he will have a normal smile again. Even though I had gotten used to his snaggle tooth grin I am excited to see what he will look like with 2 front teeth while still a "baby".

Work is going fine but we are struggling with our schedule. And I am trying to break John in to taking on some of the things I need him to do (that I usually do-homework!) to keep things rolling around here. It is an adjustment for everyone for me to be gone more and this week is especially hard because it is 5 days not just the 3 days I will be working when I am done orienting. John's Uncle Ray died Monday so that has also made this a hard week. We went to the funeral home tonight since we knew we could not be at the funeral tomorrow. We know Jesus was his personal savior and he is in a better place, with no pain and suffering but it is still hard on his family.


This is a conversation between Wyatt and his Papa recently (what I can remember) regarding Papa's new beard he is sporting...

Wyatt: I like your beard Papa, did Granny make it for you?
Papa: (I am not sure what Papa said)
Wyatt: My dad has a beard but his is scratchy, his doesn't have fur on it like yours...

I start work tomorrow. I 'm not nervous yet because it is just orientation but I am wondering how it is going to feel going to work again. This week I have to work all 5 days so I am really dreading that! and of course John has to be out of town on business so that complicates things a little. Thank God for the grandparents, they are such a help! (and aunties and uncles)

Some families from our agency just got travel approval and had waited about a month so if we get ours in the same time frame then we will definitely be traveling mid to late March. I have got so much to do and so little motivation. (that often happens when I've got so much and feel overwhelmed) But I am checking off one little thing at a time!

If you pray, please pray for our Lily. I am really starting to worry about how she is going to handle leaving everything she knows. I pray that we will know how to help her adjust or at least know where to go for help. She will have so much change in such a short period of time. Just please pray for her.

Update: In an entire week I have gone to bed every night with an empty sink. I even removed the tape a few days ago. Some may not understand how happy this makes me but if you have ever struggled with dishes and have a large family, you know this is no small feat!

1. God has been placing people in my path who have adopted older children and I am so grateful. It is hard to explain to others how much this online community of people mean to me. They are some of the most amazing people I have ever "met".

2. Mason and Wyatt are OBSESSED with ice packs. When Noah was a little guy he would not put ice on anything without screaming and crying but somehow these guys love it! Whenever we are home they will get a boo boo and need an ice pack. Seriously, I see no boo boos. They have even started to request them at bedtime. It is so silly but cute. It may have something to do with them being shaped like monkeys and frogs :0)

That's all for now!

Just some quick thoughts I want to record so I don't forget them.

1.Tonight I was reading to Mason and Wyatt. I usually read shorter books when reading to them both because Mason's attention span is pretty short. Well tonight we had been going through our "library" picking out some books to put in Lily's book basket and he came across the Alphabet Mystery (one of my favs) and took it to his room. Of course that is what he wanted me to read and I did. It was kind of long for Mason and he was ready for it to be over so about mid way through the book after each page he would say "ta da"! He just wanted it to end. Funny.

2. The boys have been wanting to rub lotion on my legs. This is a big treat for them and they love it. I think my legs are smoother and softer right now than they have been since I was younger! Much younger!

3. Tonight I also spent some time in "yiyi's" room. Mason is very excited about her room and has helped me do a lot. He helped me make the bed, carry some of her things upstairs and set her stuff out in her room. Tonight Wyatt helped too and we decided to take her dolls out of there package. They loved on and fought over these babies for some time. These two boys have never really been around "girl" toys so they were so interested in them. But it didn't last long and they were off to find some superheroes and things they could throw off the balcony.

4.We are struggling around here with our two older boys. Noah and Sellers have always been very close and gotten along well. I have never made much of an effort for them to make close friends because they always enjoyed each other. This is changing. Noah has made a good friend in the neighborhood. I am happy for Noah. He and this boy get along well and he is a good kid. I am sad for Sellers. He feels left out and doesn't understand why he can't tag along. A few times he has gotten very upset. Noah also is not sympathetic. He just wants his own friend. And truthfully I understand and think it is OK. I just wish Sellers had a buddy too, then it wouldn't be so hard. I have tried to step in and do things to make him feel better but I guess I am not as appealing as a playmate as I used to be.

Today I found a blog. This family adopted an 8 year old from China and have been home with her for less than 2 months. Tonight I sat down and read their story in one sitting. There are plenty of people out there adopting babies and toddlers but finding a story to follow like this has been hard to find. Everyday John and I worry about attachment and how we are going to communicate and interact with Lily. Will she let us hold her? hold hands? Will she show us affection and when? We think about this a lot especially with the reality now that we are so close to going to China. I engulfed this blog because it was candid and honest and it has helped me to see what our experience may be like. I know we will have struggles and I know we will have setbacks but I know without a doubt that we will be blessed. That adopting this child will change us forever. I know that no matter what she is our daughter, I feel so strongly that God handpicked her just for us and I haven't even met her! I trust him that much. Please pray for us. For Lily and all that she will have to mourn when she leaves China and for our attachment and bonding as a family. We are getting so close.

Wyatt: Why can't we break the road.
Mom: It is too hard.
Wyatt: So I can't break it with my feet?
Mom: no
Wyatt: You need a special toodle to break it?

Now that is from a child who has obviously watched too much Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Oh, Toodles!

Today has been quite a day. I woke up at 5:15 (45 minutes before the alarm) and patiently waited for my dad (travel companion) to awaken. I got showered and dressed and we went downstairs in the hotel to eat breakfast. I wasn't very nervous and left the hotel at 7:15 to go to the testing center that was across the street (this was in N. Charleston). After checking in I sat down to take my test. The first few questions were tough and I started to panic just a little. Fortunately I got into a groove and before I knew it I was done. I will get the results in 24-48 hours (most likely 48). After the test my dad and I went shopping at the outlets (not his favorite thing-thanks for being patient Dad). I found some cute and very well priced clothes for Lily and a few things for the boys. When we got back to the car there was a message on my phone from Mei, out caseworker with Christian World Adoption. I suddenly got very nervous, thinking could this be it? Is our LOA here? I left her a message to call me back and could hardly eat a bite of my lunch waiting for her to call back. As soon as we got back in the car after lunch she called back. All I heard was, "Jennifer your LOA is here, I can't believe you got it so quick". Since we were in Charleston I told her we would come by and pick it up at the office. On the way I called John and shared the news with him. I can't tell you how much excitement and nervousness we feel. We had a great visit at CWA and she gave us a lot of information and stuff to do. I really can't believe we got LOA!! This means we will travel by the end of March at the latest. Boy have I got a lot to do!!! I will try to keep you updated but I am not sure how much time I will have for blogging! With a new job (gulp!), preparing to spend 2 weeks in China, figuring out what to do with the boys for those two weeks, finishing (well almost) Lily's room, and everything else I think I am going to be quite busy!
Thanks so much to everyone for their support,prayers and encouragement. We can't wait to bring Lily home!

Sorry I have been MIA but I have been very busy. John and I took Wyatt and Mason to Disney for a few days and now I am back and leaving to go to Charleston to spend the night because I am taking my board exam at 8:00 in the morning. I am a little nervous but hopefully I will do fine. I also had an interview last week with labor and delivery at LMC and was offered a job that day. I was very excited and am looking forward to working there. They have a good starting package and were willing to work with me about going to China soon. Hopefully I will be able to start working there on Feb. 9th. It all has come together and now I just need to pass my boards....pray for me tomorrow.

Last night they called off school for snow. I seriously thought it was ridiculous. But to my surprise this is what we awakened to and it keeps on coming. To say the kids were excited would be an understatement. Noah said "this is the best day ever". This was Wyatt and Mason's first time EVER seeing snow, so yes it is a big deal around here. Even if it doesn't cover everything...

If I could choose one word to describe me now it would be happy.
I have been thinking about this for the last few days.
I am happy for so many reasons!
I am happy because once again I am spending time in God's word and am enjoying it. I am attending Bible study and am anxious to see what God will reveal to me during this study. For a long while I neglected scripture because of the demands of nursing school bearing down on me. And speaking of nursing school I am so happy it is done!
I am happy that soon I will take boards and take a job. I am happy that God gave me loving and faithful parents and parent in laws, I am happy that my husband loves me no matter what, that he is faithful to his family and would do anything for us! I am happy that I have been blessed with 4 little boys and a precious little girl waiting for us in China. I am happy that I have my family back and can go out and enjoy their company more often! I am happy that not only has God provided for my many needs but so many of my wants. I am happy that God has given me another year. I am happy, very happy. A good way to feel on your birthday. Thank you God!

In playing with my new obsession (my iphone) I discovered that it is currently 3 degress in Zhuhai City where Lily is living. The high tomorrow is 18. Does she have warm enough blankets? a coat? a hat? these are the things I thought about this morning as I laid around in my warm house, with my warm robe, drinking a hot cup of coffee. I can't wait until she is home with us and I know that she is ok. Lily, I pray that you are warm and safe, we will be there soon!

update: The interview went very well in my opinion. It seems to be a good fit for me and she is very willing to accommodate our needs with adopting and going to China. There are 9 people interviewing for 2 positions. She said I would know something by Tues. which is by the way the day I have an interview with Lexington Medical Center Labor and Delivery.



Job Interview this morning at 10:30.
Nervous, I haven't done this in a LONG time!
Praying for God's will!
Praying for confidence, peace, and that I won't say something stupid or that I will regret like I so often do!
I'll keep ya posted....

Saturday we spent 6 hours upstairs cleaning and rearranging rooms to make room for Lily. Since she is the only girl she will have her own room and bathroom. We moved Mason into Wyatt's room. It is the biggest and has plenty of room for them both. At first they were a bit confused but Mason slept in his new bed last night with no problems! After he went to bed last night I realized my last baby just went to bed in a bed not a crib. It was a weird feeling because we have had a crib in our in home for many years. We didn't take his crib down yet just in case he wasn't ready to move but surprisingly he wanted to stay in his new bed. I didn't think he would because he loves being a baby. If you tell him he is a big boy he will say, "No I a baby". So this weekend we starting making the first official steps toward making room for Lily. Now I just need to pick out a paint color, find reasonably priced furniture, a lamp, towels, rug and........(and as much as possible is going to be PINK!!)

this has been a busy week for me. i have been going to a nclex review class all week and i am so glad it is over today! it is meant to give you an idea of how prepared you are to take boards for being a liscensed nurse. basically i am borderline. it pretty much depends on what questions i get and how well i am rationalizing my answers. it's just crazy they can ask me anything. some of this stuff we never even went over in school so you have to seriously know how to think critically.i guess it is a good thing i have been unable to get a test date scheduled so i can spend more time preparing. i also don't have a job. i am being sort of picky but i am first a mother to 4 (soon to be 5) and i have to find the right job for our family. i hope all this comes together before john and i have to dart off to china for lily. i am just trusting God. i know he sees the big picture.

For anyone wondering and I guess many are because I get asked about this a lot here is what is going on with Lily's adoption. In December we had our Homestudy updated, not a big deal and our caseworker is so awesome! Then we sent off all the little necessary paperwork to Immigration so that we will be allowed to bring her back into the country. And in January on the 9th we go have our fingerprints re-done for the US Immigration because apparently fingerprints expire ( John finds this incredible).
We also found out China has raised there orphange fee pretty signifacantly but I am trying to remember that no amount is too high to pay the orphanage back for taking care of our daughter for so many years. I really believe based on what I have learned that she comes from a very good orphange (China Standards-not mine)!
So now we really are just waiting. The average wait for the document we are waiting for is 75 days. We have been waiting less than 60. I have even seen people wait 120 days. We expect to travel to China somtime between March and May! When something changes I will let you know!

Let me apologize now if any of my children ever have or ever do eat spaghetti in your presence. Tonight I fixed spaghetti. It is not usually something I fix for numerous reasons but it was their request so I obliged. Here are a few things I learned tonight from watching and listening to them eat:

*Utensils are not necessary, shoveling it in by the handful works just fine!
*You can get a whole plate of spaghetti on your fork if you stick your fork in the middle of your pile and turn your fork over and over until all of it is on your fork.
*You can make a spaghetti sandwich by piling it on your garlic bread.
*Wearing a red sweater is a good idea when you are sitting next to Mason while he is eating spaghetti.
and the most interesting thing I learned tonight came from the eldest boy and what he said intrigued me so...
Mom: Son, please don't eat your spaghetti like that. It is bad manners. (and of course John pipes in to say something about if you were eating like that on a date the girl would never want to go out with you again..)
Noah: Mom we're from South Carolina not Massachusetts.
Mom: What does that have to do with eating spaghetti?

and honestly I can't remember exactly what he said but it was something about people in Massachusetts have proper manners and we South Carolinians are country (or maybe he said redneck) and we don't have to have good manners...huh? Where in the world did he learn that? I am cracking up laughing right now thinking about it. I looked at John and said "Have we done that bad of a job teaching our boys table manners?". Is there anybody out there from Massachusetts who would like to come teach my boys the proper way to eat?

As you may know this is a common theme of conversation for Wyatt and often provides us with smiles and laughs. He must think about this an awful lot.

I walked in to his room to read him a book and put him to bed...
Wyatt: When I grow up I am going to move away.
Mom: I know, mommy will be sad when you leave. (sticking lip out in a pout)
Wyatt takes a minute to think and almost starts to cry (he is a little sensitive underneath his tough exterior).
Wyatt: Well I am just going to get Dada to drive me somewhere and stay 2 days then I'll come back.
(As he says this he looks at me with a smile obviously hoping it will make me feel better, I almost cry just thinking about how sensitive he was to my feelings. And for some reason this little exchange made me think because later in the night when he came downstairs (AGAIN!) I decided to react differently. I usually get frustrated and take on the mean mommy approach but not this time. I looked at him standing there and I thought about Noah. Too grown up for me now. He probably is counting down the days until he is grown up and out on his own. With that thought I kneeled down on the floor and took my baby in my arms. I hugged him tight and tried to permanently imprint in my mind how he looked and felt at that very moment because I know how hard it is to remember Noah at that age. How he felt and looked. How he sounded and the things he said that made us laugh with joy. Right then I made a decision to pay better attention so I can remember and not just go through each day one task at a time and not really looking and listening to what is going on around me. Before I know it he too will be older and counting down the days until he is on his own and he won't be coming back in 2 days.

Happy New Year from the O'Cain Crew!

Any resolutions for the new year?
Mine is to get my family more active.
To get outside more and be inside less!


What I am looking forward to the most in 2009?
Bringing Lily home!

Hope your New Year is blessed, Happy and Healthy!

Today the doorbell rang at 5 o'clock.
Standing there was a young girl signing people up for home delivery dry cleaning.
Cool. We can do that. One less errand to run.
Wyatt says " Mom, what's that girls name?"
Mom: "I don't know I'll ask her"
I ask her and later tell Wyatt.
Mom: "Wyatt that girls name is Summer"
Wyatt: "do you think she could come live with us, so we can have two girls"?
Mom: "Why you think Lily needs a sister?"
Wyatt: "Yeah, so we can have two girls."

How cute. Maybe one day Lily will have a sister Wyatt. One day.....

Yes, I am sick and tired.
Strange symptoms for 3 weeks.
2 trips to the doctor.
Finally last night I had, had enough..
7:15 Leave the house to go to Urgent Care
7:40 Someone takes my vitals and complaints
8:45 Someone gets my insurance info
9:35 Finally called back to see the doctor (i did read 100 pages of my new book while i waited so it made it less painful)
9:45 See doctor, does a strep test (again)
10:40 Get results, yes! I have strep throat. Finally an answer.Now just give me some meds, please!
10:55 Turn prescription in at Walgreens
11:05 Walk out with meds
11:20 Get home take meds and go to bed
12:15 Finally fall asleep
1:40 Tap on the back "mom, my stomach hurts I feel terrible"-Get up in a total daze, can't even open my eyes. Ok I take care of it. Give the boy some medicine, hopefully did not overdose him in my half asleep state. Go back to bed
2;20 Tap on the back again by same son. Just fell back asleep. I am dying here. John doesn't even wake up. Again, I take care of it and go back to bed.
4:40 Tap on the back again by same son. "mom, I just threw up" Great, can my night get any worse? I was so beat I didn't even get up. Pathetic. I begged him to go get something to drink and go back to bed. Bad mom. I just couldn't get up....
7:15 Husband gets up to go to church and is mad at me because I have given him an eye infection from a previous infection I just had. (yes, I have had a time lately)And he is not happy to learn I have strep because we shared a coke at the movies Fri.
Great I feel terrible, no sleep and now someone is mad at me for something I couldn't help. Take more meds and go back to bed.
10:45 Wake up and feel better already, Thank God.
12:00 Call from Hubby on his way home from church. He is sorry he was mean to me, he just wasn't in his right mind and was tired and upset his eye was crusted shut. Now he understands why I have felt bad and been grumpy the past few weeks, go figure. Can I bring you home something from McDonalds. Why yes, some fresh hot french fries.
Have you ever had a day like this? All this lady wants is a full nights rest and to be well already! Anyway,hope you had a Merry Christmas. I will post pics soon. I just haven't felt like doing much.

Hope Everyone has a Merry Christmas!

The Mom Song from Northland Video on Vimeo.

I am finally catching up on things. Today I will be busy at home catching up here, yesterday I spent the day trying to Christmas Shop. Graduation was Wednesday and it is so hard to believe that it is over. My speech went well but I hate that I broke down right when I started speaking, fortunately I quickly got it together and did manage to get a few laughs. Here are a few photos from that day, don't you just love the hat?

Make a Smilebox slideshow

i just noticed there are some extra pictures at the end, I have no idea what they are doing there but I don't feel like fixing it so enjoy them!

Well I am done,
tests are all taken,
grades are all in.

It is so emotional,
I don't even know how to put it into words.
Happy.
Sad.
Relieved.
Exhausted.
I actually started crying when I left campus, it felt silly but it's all I could do.

I am so ready to have my life back.
To read for fun again,
to watch TV,
to read my Bible,
to decorate Lily's room,
to spend time doing normal things with my family!

Thanks to everyone who supported me, encouraged me and kept me going!

And no this isn't about presents...

As I write this I cannot believe I have only 8 days and graduation will be over!
I have taken all my tests, I have 2 finals and some overdue paperwork to turn in and I am DONE!!!!! I need to make a 52 on my OB/Pediatrics final and a 48 on my Management final to pass, so I think I'm safe. I'm gonna review the stuff from the start of the semester that I probally forgot and that should be it.

I also volunteered to speak at my pinning and have started to develop some anxiety over that now that I have found out what the expectations are. I am supposed to be funny, thankful and serious all in 2 to 3 minutes. I am very nervous about this and want to be very careful about what I say. I am praying for the right words.

I probally won't post until after finals-need to be studying!

We had our Sunday School class over last night. When everyone left and I was putting Wyatt to bed I asked him if he had fun...

Wyatt: Yeah
Mom: Who did you like to play with?
Wyatt: J...what's her name
Mom: J....e
WYatt: Yeah and those other two girls, what their names?
Mom: G....and R....
Wyatt: Yeah ( with a huge grin)
Mom: I guess when you grow up you're going to be a ladies man
Wyatt: No, I'm gonna be SUPERMAN, he's for real !

We recently learned about two websites you and/or your child must visit!

The first is www.freerice.com my 11 year old is obsessed with this site. He can practice all types of school work while earning food to be fed to the poor. You can keep a tally of your rice earned and see how many people you have helped feed!

The second is www.goodsearch.com you just go there first before you do web searches chose your charity and search away. For each search you make they will donate 1 cent to your chosen charity. Now that could really add up!

Give them both a try, what a great and easy way to help others!

Noah: "Sellers, I thought razors were for keeping yourself from getting a beard"
Sellers: "yeah"
Noah: " now they're trying to sell 'em to make your face smooth, that's dumb"

Just a little diddy overheard while they were watching T.V. and a razor commercial came on.

yesterday as I was leaving to take Sellers to school he said "mom, there's snow".
"no, it's not snow it's frost", i said. he replied "well i ran my hand down the railing and it felt like snow in my hand". ok so we'll just call it southern snow....

To hear this without the blog music playing scroll down and click stop on the player.

My favorite time of the year for Oh so many reasons...
for christmas music
the smell of a fresh cut Christmas tree
for having too many stockings for the fireplace
for all the fun fellowships and food
for our Saviors birth
for sitting in the dark with nothing but the Christmas tree on
for giving to others
for reminiscing over all the ornaments we've collected over the years
etc. etc. etc....

Yes, I know this is a surprise, not something we thought was going to happen now but it has and we are thrilled and cannot wait to bring her home. Here is our story;

(several people have mentioned to me that they tried to leave a message and couldn't. I think I have adjusted the settings to make that possible so try again)



Years ago I remember flipping through a magazine and seeing an article about the abandoned girls in Ch*na. I can still see the photograph of a little girl laying on the sidewalk and everyone just walking by like she was no more important than the litter scattered around her. The image has always been there and that is probably the moment that I first thought about adopting from Ch*na. Fast forward a few years. John and I are married we have two healthy baby boys and I start to think about adopting that little girl in Ch*na again. Honestly, John wasn't for it or against it he just wasn't sure if he wanted more kids. Then we became pregnant and lost a little girl. That was so hard for me. I always dreamed of having a little girl and it was devastating to lose her.That stirred up in me the desire to have another child. I was scared to get pregnant again so naturally I thought of Ch*na again. I started to pray that if it was God's will for our daughter to come from Ch*na then he was going to have to work towards preparing John's heart for adoption. Without going into a lot of detail some things happened with John's job and the expense of adopting a child was no longer an option. Then as you know we got pregnant, again, twice and had two more amazing little boys. Our boys are everything and I love them more than anything in this world but the desire to have a daughter would not go away. I prayed for it to go away. Four children was enough, how could we possibly raise a fifth and how in the world would John ever go for that? Well that desire did not go away and little did I know it began to grow more strongly in John. As time went by I knew we had a daughter in Ch*na, I absolutely knew it. I strategically picked our anniversary trip to the mountains in July 2007 to talk about adopting to John. It was now or never. When I brought it up I was surprised when he said "let's do it". We knew the wait for a child was getting longer and didn't want to waste time. We went to an adoption seminar and was told the wait was currently 2 to 2 1/2 years. That was perfect. We gathered all the documents, got physicals, got fingerprinted and sent everything to Ch*na in December 2007. We were so excited! Well it didn't take long for me to realize that there was not going to be a 2 to 2 1/2 year wait for us, it was going to be MUCH longer! We are not sure why but there has been a major slow down in adoptions and we were facing a wait of possible 4-8 years. What??? I almost drove myself crazy on the Internet, reading peoples blogs, checking on how long it was taking. I became weary. We didn't want to wait that long, who wants to be 65 when there child graduates from high school? Well we knew we didn't. Our only options were to switch to another country or switch to the Special Needs list. After talking with my adoption agency we decided to switch to Russia. I felt uneasy about it but we proceeded anyway. After all the paperwork was done and we were about to send it in we went out to eat one night. When we walked in the door there were two little Asian girls sitting with there American family. It was in that moment that I knew without a doubt our daughter was in Ch*na. John and I talked about it and decided that we would not send our paperwork to Russia and we would wait on Ch*ina. At that point we starting to consider the Special Needs list. Every month our agency sends us a list of Special Needs kids who need a home. Every month we look at that list. Well on October 28 we got a new list. There was a little girl with a minor need but she was older than we had originally planned on . When we got the email with all her information and we first saw her face, we knew, this was her. This was the child God had planned for us. We quickly called our agency and requested to "lock her In". That means we have 48 hours to make a decision. I had prayed that if this was not our daughter for God to close the doors. No doors were closed, they were opened. You see God used our desire for a daughter to turn our hearts toward adoption and used the long wait to lead us to this child on the Special Needs list. Everything fell into place and we officially sent in our Letter of Intent (to adopt) on October 31, 2008. We had to wait for Ch*na to send us a Pre Approval (PA). We didn't tell anyone until we had PA from Ch*na. We received PA on November 13th. Now we wait again. We expect to go sometime in the next 3 to 7 months to Ch*na to get her. We don't expect everyone to understand what we are doing but we do ask for your support and prayers. This girls world is going to be turned upside down and even though she will have a better life it will still be hard for her for a while. I cannot post her picture because we are not allowed to per our agency. I am going to start a locked blog so that I can post pictures and details about everything in privacy. If you would like access to that blog please leave a post here with your email address and I will send you the password when the blog is started or just email me and I will email you back. Tonight I am praising God for this Blessing and Thanking him for opening our hearts to the gift of adoption.

Yesterday was the last time I had to wake in the wee hours of the morning.
It was the last time I had to put on my ugly MTC uniform.
It was the last time I had to drive to clinical (usually while still dark outside).
The last time I had to park in the "pit" at the hospital and walk 1/2 mile uphill in rain or cold or sweltering heat to get to the main building.
The last time I had to collect enough data to fill out my paperwork.
The last time I got to hang with my good friends whom I have really grown to care for :0(
I thought I would be giddy with excitement as I left the hospital but I felt weird.
My classmates asked me "what' wrong, you're not your usual self"?
I didn't know what to say. Maybe I am nervous about this ending and having to actually get a job. Maybe I just will miss the time I got to spend hanging out with these girls laughing and learning together. I can't say for certain but it was problably a little of both. Sad for it to end but ready for it too.

*It is just as or more important for you to have a good nurse in the hospital than it is a good doctor!
*That I am so happy I had my children before I had 18 hours worth of lectures about everything that could go wrong with mommy and baby.
*That blood does not bother me at all but vomit and poop (the grown up kind) I almost cannot handle. It takes everything I have to keep it together in front of my patient.
*That nursing is very rewarding and many patients will Thank You profusely for taking care of them.
*That most patients apologize to their nurse if the nurse has to do something that embarrasses them. (change a dirty brief, a dressing, empty a bedpan etc..)
*That it is so hard to keep a straight face when your patient "blows" you in the face while changing their brief.
*That I will never view my body the same again. Every little thing could potentially be something big (in other words I can see how nurses become hypochondriacs).
*That everyone will ask you for health advice and it's usually about something I know NOTHING about.
*That if you pretend you know what you're doing your patient will not get totally freaked out by having a nursing student for their nurse. And that some people love to have a student for a nurse because we are so cautious and spend time with our patients.
*That everyone thinks nurses make a ton of $$ but I think they are underpaid for how hard it is and how much you have to know and for how much responsibility you have.
*How to make perfect corners when making a bed.
*How to make a pillow when you cannot find extras on the floor out of pillowcases and towels.
*That sometimes all your patient wants is for someone to listen to them.
*That it is a very hard profession and I love it!

The reason I went to nursing school was for Labor and Delivery. I loved the experience of having my babies and wanted to be a part of that for others. In school I became very interested in "sick" nursing. I put L&D to the side and thought maybe I would rather do something else. Afterall, I did like the thrill of the ER, the seriousness of cardiac nursing and taking care of someone real sick. But after all this time I believe I have come full circle. Last week I had my last clinical, it was in OB/GYN. Friday specifically was L&D. I loved it. I feel at home there. It was comfortable and I understand it. This is where I want to work, the only problem is so do a lot of other people. L&D jobs are actually hard to come by, even nights. (which nobody wants!)
I talked to the nurse manager, she has one opening on nights and already has 4 applicants. She told me to apply so I did. No idea if I will hear anything or not but I have my fingers crossed!

Sellers has had a loose tooth for weeks. Scared to pull it out. Sometimes scared to eat.
Finally last night he pulled it. He was so excited and of course he placed his tooth under his pillow. This morning he lifted up the pillow with excitement expecting to see some reward for pulling his tooth but instead all he saw was the tooth. Tears followed. Parents panicked. The Tooth Fairy forgot. The only thing John could think to say was "maybe she didn't want to come 'cause she was afraid of getting your virus". Now that's comforting. Tooth will go under the pillow again tonight and hopefully the Tooth Fairy will not forget and there will be no tears in the morning. And the Tooth Fairy feels so bad for forgetting she'll probably throw in some extra $.

Who's idea was this whole Tooth Fairy thing anyway? John and I figure by the time the Tooth Fairy pays for all our kids lost teeth she could have gone on a nice, relaxing vacation instead. But perhaps just the smile and delight in our child's face when she comes is worth it.

update* The tooth fairy came last night and there was one happy little boy this morning already planning what to do with the loot!

Mason (not Wyatt this time) had a funny. Mason is just becoming more verbal and said this last night:

He was doing something on the couch he wasn't supposed to be doing and John told him to quit. Of course he did what any 2 year old would do, ignored him. John got up and went to remove him from the couch when Mason's arms flew up in the air and he looked right at John and yelled ever so toddlerish "stop sign". It took us a second to realize what he said and then we busted out laughing. So guess who thinks it's funny to yell "stop sign" now when you approach him?

Today I finished Pediatric clinicals. I have been waiting all semester for this. Do I want to do cardiac nursing or pediatric when I graduate? This was going to be my last chance to try it out. Two days on the unit is all it took for me to know, it is not for me. Sick children are tough and their parents are tougher. It is like having two patients rolled up in one. I just don't think I can do it. Boy am I glad I had the chance to "try it before you buy it". Looks like cardiac, well maybe OB. I have that clinical next week......

6th picture in the 6th folder...hmmm. Let's go see what that is........

Well I cheated. This is number 7, number 6 was a picture of just a classmate. I thought you would find this one much more interesting. This is my first clinical class in Nursing 101 in January of 2007. I was at the VA Hospital. I think back to how unconfident I was back then and really didn't know what I was doing. I mean it would take me all day just to do vitals, give a bath, change sheets and give meds to one patient. I became great friends with many of these folks and 3 of them will be graduating with me in December!

This verse speaks loudly to me. I had to share it.


""...once our eyes are opened,
we can't pretend we don't know what to do.
God,who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls,
knows that we know,
and holds us responsible to act."
(Proverbs 24:12)

This is a great website to play around with your photos. This is the same photo, the first is using the sephia, the second is the vignette and the last is the original.