Happy Birthday to my first born. You are such a great young man, I can't believe next year you will be a teenager (ouch!). You are truly a gift from God!

The O'Cain family journal is moving. I have found a blog server that I am going to try. I like the way it is set up and that I can have my site put on a memory CD as a keepsake. My blog serves two purposes. One is to share the blessings of adopting a child and the other is to chronicle our family times together. You Belong is designed for both of those purposes.

To see our new home please visit: www.youbelong.net/theocaincrew

Another reason I like this site is because it is easier for people to leave messages, no having to set up a blogger account. This should be nice for the grandparents to be able to leave messages and those who don't have blogger.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE GREATEST JOYS OF MY LIFE, WYATT!!!!!

As of today Lily has officially been ours for 26 days and home for 16 days. Things are still going very well and each day we learn new things about her and we learn how to live together as a family of 7.

Lily's daily schedule starts with sleeping in. As I write this it is 9:54 and she is still in bed. It is not usually this late everyday but she usually sleeps until at least 8:30. She always comes downstairs with a smile and sort of sleepy look. ( She just came down, grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs to her room. She had spent the last hour making her bed and cleaning her room. She even refolded and straightened the clothes in her drawers). First we have breakfast which usually consists of Egg Drop Soup or rice or noodles. She doesn't seem to care for any typical American breakfast foods. After breakfast she will say " take a bath" and off to the bath we go. I start the water, help her pick out clothes and then leave. She will be bop downstairs about 15 minutes later, dressed and ready for the day. For the rest of the day we spend our time doing many things. Lately she has discovered those little tadpoles we found turn into the cutest little frogs, if it is not too sunny and hot she will walk around outside looking for those frogs and if mommy can, she helps because she has a very good eye for them. We also like to draw and this has proved helpful when trying to communicate more difficult subjects. We have used drawings to explain mommy going to work, Lily's future trip to the dentist, when some one's birthday is and as suggested by a article on attachment we used it to show Lily who her immediate family is and who her extended family is. This big family thing is so new for her but she is doing great understanding it.

Sellers brought home a 2nd grade left over math book for Lily and daily she works in it. She catches on quickly with math but we need to spend our time on letters. She is starting to want to learn them so that has helped. We went to the bookstore this week and I let her pick out some books. Later that night when going to bed she got one for me to read to her, when she opened it she seemed surprised that it was in English. She just looks at it and says " I don't know". She let me read it but hasn't since. She just isn't ready for that yet and that is OK. She has almost learned the whole alphabet (she was familiar with some letters when we got her) and we have some little alphabet books we look at. Her English comprehension is good and she says quite a few words, I couldn't even begin to list them all here.

This past week she got her first baby doll and she loves it. It makes little noises and moves. For the first few days she took it everywhere, now she just plays with it at home. She also plays with her Barbies and this week her and her brother's put on a Barbie fashion show for me. She loves to cook and we have been cooking a lot of fried rice, noodles and soup. She copies a lot of what I do and even puts on an apron when she cooks as I often do so I don't get stains on my clothes.

She does not like hot. She will refuse to get in the car until I have cooled it down. Outside in the sun she will carry an umbrella to keep the sun off of her as did many Chinese when we were in China. She does not like cold either and wants to sleep in long sleeve and long pant pajamas. She doesn't have a lot of meat on her bones so I imagine she is always cold inside.

I am usually the one to put her to bed unless I am working. It takes about 30 to 45 minutes but that includes a lot of learning. We usually do some letters or math before bed. She is always the one getting the books out. This girl LOVES to learn. I still lay in bed with her with lights out for about 5 or so minutes. I then leave and we don't see her again until morning. She has never gotten out of bed.

The longer she is home the more comfortable she is and the more she tests the water. We are consistent with her and treat her just like the boys, if they can't do it then she can't. There doesn't seem to be any jealousy between them. She shares with them, looks after them and truly adores them. They are so sweet with her and understanding. One day we took her to get some toys because we had not got her any yet and didn't buy the boys anything. No one said a word. They just understood, that made me proud.

I had a hard time going back to work this past week. I just wasn't ready but couldn't take any more time, I just haven't been there long enough. Overall she did fine with me going just putting up a little bit of a fight with pulling and hugging on me and saying, "no". It has been good for her and daddy because now she is with him 3 afternoons and nights without me around. I can already see a difference in their relationship just this week.

I could say more but this post is long enough. I have got to go. It has taken me all day to get this written and I am ready for bed! On the 11th it is our 1 month Gotcha Anniversary, time just flies! We are so in love with our little girl!

Cooking with Mason:

Loves to have her picture taken and will ask me to take it everytime she has on something new.

Our little American girl. If you look closely you can see she got carried away with some old make up I had given her to play with. She puts it on every morning and I haven't been able to make her understand it is just for play. Today I had to wipe it off, she didn't get mad at me thank goodness!

We have been taking a step back and realize now we did too much too soon with Lily. Too many new people, too many experiences. She is doing great still and such a great joy but we want what is best for her and what is best for her attachment to John and I. Many people "know" Lily through our blog but please remember she does not know you and it can be quite strange to her for a complete stranger to walk up to her and call her name and touch her. We appreciate how much everyone loves her and supports us but please respect that she is going through a lot in her little head.

I am going to try and do a update tomorrow on how it is going which is great!

Down by the river with Poppy and Nama.Chilling by the river with Wyatt.

It's official, Lily is an American Citizen.
She received her first credit card application in the mail yesterday.
I think I will keep this one for her memory box.
Just because I think it is so funny.
It is even addressed to her in her Chinese name.

Big Update coming this weekend!

Two things to add to the earlier post...

As you wait for your adopted child you try to imagine what they are like in person. John and I would talk about how we wondered what her voice sounded like, what she actually looked like, etc. Never in a million years would I have imagined my cute, dainty little daughter would have the loudest, and I mean loudest voice in a house full of boys. It keeps me cracking up to hear such loudness coming out of such a small young girl. (especially when it is usually in Chinese)


Also, the other day I made a sheet of math problems just to see what she knew. I was surprised and happy that she could easily do addition and subtraction problems. Now she brings me paper and pen several times a day so I can make her some practice problems. She only occasionally makes a mistake so I am glad about that!

Oh and one more thing... These are her current phrases she is using in English

Gimme Five
Good Morning
Goodnight
Sorry
Okay
I don't know
Oh my gah ( yeah I'm working on that one)

She is also starting to repeat a lot of what I say, It's so fun to see how much she is learning and so fast!

We seem to be settling in well with our new little one. She is making herself right at home and seems to be happy. She keeps herself and those around her very busy and we are having fun getting to know each other. She has met all of her extended family except my brother who lives in AZ. She is smitten with her girl cousins and loves to play with them. She has been very responsive to her grandparents, aunts and uncles and I'm sure has stolen their hearts too. She got a new bike (thanks) and some toys (thanks) and I know it makes her feel so special. Today I took her to Target to get some things for her room. She was so excited and kept putting her hand over her heart and patting it. This is her way of telling me she is excited and surprised. We bought a couple toys and some smaller shirts since she is so slim. As soon as we got home she tore into everything and put it up.

She also went to the pool for the first time with John and Sellers. With some coaxing from her cousin she did go out into the pool which shocked me. In China she would not go beyond the 3 feet section. I am glad she is liking it because we like to go swimming around here often.

Today the boys went back to school and I wasn't sure how that would go but other than asking me a few dozen times where they were she did fine. She was very happy when they came home. I am sure she is wondering if she will go to school.

Last night I lay awake worrying about her teeth. She has some severe decay in her back teeth. I am just worried about what this means for her and what she will have to go through to have them taken care of. I just don't understand how someone so young can have such decay.

Lily opening a present, she was so excited.



Lily trying out her bike for the first time.Having her first southern cookout, hamburgers!

I was unable to access Blogger once I was in Guangzhou, apparently it was blocked because other families were unable to access it either. If you missed our trip you can go to

www.myadoptionwebsite.com/lovinglily/

and get a recap. Luckily I had set that up and had another avenue to update everyone on our trip. The site is unlocked now since she is legally ours. In the next couple days I will start posting here again but not as often. I am looking at updating twice a week on set days, I'll keep ya posted!

If you haven't been there go check it out, we had an awesome trip!

Ni Hao from China! After a 20+ hour travel day we made it to Beijing. Here is our day in a nutshell. I may not have time to do this everyday. My most thought through post will be on the other sight.

We left our house around 630 am and John's dad met and took us to the airport. We boarded the plane and then we were informed there was a paperwork problem and we had to wait. Once that was straightened we then got a new route to Chicago. Apparently our little jet didn't have enough fuel for that route so we had to wait to get more fuel. We ended up leaving 50 minutes late. Thankfully we had enough layover time in Chicago so it did not effect us. When we got to Chicago we ate lunch and boarded our plane.

When we first boarded the plane I nearly panicked. It felt so claustrophobic I didn't know if I could do it. I had to sit in a very tight space in the middle of a long row. Thankfully I did adjust although it was one of hardest things to do. 13 hours never seemed so long.Here's a little plane by the numbers:

34 The row we sat on
179 The number of people in economy
100 The number of blankets available for those in economy (boy I am glad I had mine)
60 The temperature it felt like they kept it on the whole time
2 The number of lunches we were fed (they just fed us whatever, whenever-made little sense to me)
1 The number of lunches good enough to eat
8 The number of times we talked about wishing we were in business class
13 The number of hours the people sitting in front of John kept their seat all the back.
2 The number of inches between our knees and the seat in front of us.
5 The number of passengers wearing face masks.
2 The number of times I watched Bride Wars ( watched one other movie too)
38000 The number of ft in the air we flew
6700 The number of miles we flew from Chicago to Beijing


When we got to the airport it was very easy to figure out what to do. We quickly got through everything and located our guide Tom. There is a picture of that on the site. It was so weird how all of a sudden we enter this room and there are dozens and dozens of people holding up signs to meet someone. I thought we might never find our guide but we did. He whisked us away to a van and off we were on a 40 min ride to our hotel. Riding around Beijing is so interesting. I have never seen so many giant apartment building. Some are nice and many you can tell are a little older and not as nice. There were people everywhere. Cars, buses, bikes and pedestrians all use the same roads to it is quite wild at times. It was chaotic but seemed that everyone knew what they were doing. Tom checked us into our hotel and off to our room we went. The hotel is very pretty. We are very pleased. The room is nice and the bed is actually big. I had been worried about sleeping on their beds because I had heard they were hard. Last night our bed looked to soft and I was pleasantly surprised until I lay down and it doesn't give at all, it is quite firm. Last night I was too tired to care! At six we met the family I have been in contact with and Tom took us to eat. The food was so good and we seem to get along well with this family. They are so nice and I look forward to being with them through all of our trip! We all started feeling tired so we heading back to our rooms, John and I were asleep before 730 and we slept until 4 this morning. I feel better but one more nights sleep should do it! This morning we are off to Tianemen Square, Forbidden City and the GREAT WAll! I am so excited about getting out and seeing this city. So far I really like China a lot!

This is my last post before we leave. I have so much to do that my mind feels like it is going to explode. I am just home from work (1230 am) and can't rest thinking of all I need to do.
When I am going somewhere I always think I am more prepared than I really am until the last minute and then I realize I still have so much to do. And to make things more interesting; I have never traveled this long, never left my children this long, and have never traveled to a foreign country, never adopted, etc. so that adds a lot to the preparation for the trip. So what I am trying to say is Goodbye! I will not have time for blogs for the next few days!

Be sure to check out our travel blog at

www.myadoptionwebsite.com/lovinglily/

It is and will be password protected until we have her and she is legally ours. Not sure what day in our trip that will be. If you do not have the password leave a comment and email and I will try to get back to ya!

At this time we have received an email from our agency and from the US Consulate in Ghuangzhou in regards to the swine flu scare. At this time nothing has changed and we are still set to go. They have however suspended visits to the orphanages so it is very likely we will not get to visit. I am disappointed but at this point I just want to go, get Lily and come home. I will either take the orphanage donations and mail them to the orphanage while in China or mail them from here. Any Advice? I may take them just in case I am able to go. We'll see.

We are praying for this flu to stay under control and for our travels to stay on time and be safe!
Please join us.

I know this is not very good. The boy I was trying to zoom on in the back turned out not to be Noah. I have the hardest time finding him back there. It didn't help we were on the second row, the back rows were taken. Even though it's not great you get the idea.

Tonight Noah had his 6th grade band concert. It was quite good and I always enjoy watching my kids do something they enjoy. Noah plays percussion and does a little of everything. He loves it but the downfall is he is always in the very back and we can never see him. I tried and tried to get some decent footage but all you can see is the top of his head and the drumsticks moving about. They played several pieces, most surprisingly they played a beautiful version of Jesus Loves Me. Even in the conservative South this is something that took me by surprise. It was a good surprise. I am happy that my son has a teacher that isn't afraid to play something that could be seen as controversial by some folks these days. Tomorrow I may attempt to put some footage here of them playing. (I just tried to download it and not only did I not succeed with that I also accidentally erased it- :0( )

Another little thing on my mind right now it this new flu bug. I do not know if China would close their borders but if my trip to China was postponed because of this flu I am going to be so upset.
I just am praying that we get out of here before anything drastic happens. We only have 9 days to get through! (yes, I did just type a single digit-we are going to China in 9 days! )Please pray that NOTHING keeps us from going next week! Thanks!

This morning I got some new pictures of Lily. They are on Loving Lily the blog (not my adoption website.com). Check them out. I think they are cute even if she is wearing a Spiderman shirt!

With our letter I sent two packs of stickers. They were Hello Kitty and Spiderman. Lily has on Spiderman and the other girl has on Hello Kitty. I guess it was a coincidence, I thought that was cool.

Just TWO WEEKS and we will be en route to China! actually this time in two weeks we will be in the midst of a 19 hour journey. I am starting to get a little nervous about all that travel. And it doesn't help that we went to the attorney's office today to sign our wills. I found it kind of weird but it is an absolute necessity when you are leaving four kids and a lot of stuff behind! Please start praying for us to have safe travel. I need peace with it, I have very little travel experience. Sorry- I did not mean for this post to turn morbid! I am just so excited we have just two weeks left!It is a fabulous FRIDAY! 88 degrees, Sunny and wonderful!

Have a great weekend!

I always find the best things on other peoples blogs. This speaks volumes to me.

I have just watched this twice. Honestly can you even fathom that many children are orphaned? It is unbelieveable to me. I so want to make a difference, to more than just one. I will become mommy to one, but I want to help more. John keeps telling me if I let him sell our house (don't have a heart attack Poppy) and move to the country and buy some land we could adopt as many as I wanted....you better watch out John I might take you up on it!

Today (or yesterday, the time difference messes me up) a young girl from Lily's orphanage was united with her Daddy and Mommy (mommy via Skype). Her name is Sunny. The post from her mom posting about their meeting is so cute. You can actually feel the excitement in her "voice".
Go here if you want to check it out. They are planning on going to the orphanage and meeting Lily to give her our letter and stickers. I hope they do! Congratulations Jennifer and Lloyd on Sunny!

Here is our itinerary for our trip, there is no trip listed to Lily's orphanage so I am not sure at this point if we will be able to go. I really hope so, I have been counting on it! We leave in a mere 18 days and meet Lily in just 3 weeks.

May 9: Arriving in Beijing by at 15:15,
Staying in Wang Fu Jing Grand Hotel in Beijing
May 10: Local sightseeing: Forbidden City and Great Wall
May 11: Fly from Beijing to Guangzhou by CZ#3108 at 09:15,
Arriving Guangzhou at 12:20, Transfer to White Swan Hotel
Meet Lily in the afternoon -GOTCHA DAY!
May 12: Registration and notarization
May 13: Apply passport, Shang Xia Jiu Pedestrian Shopping Street
May 14: Local sightseeing: Six Banyan Temple, Family Chen’s Temple
May 15: Local sightseeing: Liu Hua Hu Park
May 16: Local sightseeing: Zoo
May 17: Local sightseeing: Yuntai Garden
May 18: Getting legal documents, taking visa photo and Physical check
May 19: Visa appointment at 9:30
May 20: Swearing in the ceremony at the Consulate, getting the visa
May 21: fly from Guangzhou to Beijing to the US

Today my class went pretty well. I almost choked up once but I got through the class. I did however leave in a funk. You know the kind. The kind that a good cry usually takes care of. I went to my in-laws after class to get my kiddos and John was meeting me there for a quick bite to eat out (by ourselves!!) before we all headed home. After we ate I was telling John about the class. One part of the class was a slide show of deceased babies (it was intended I guess to show us how to take these pictures so the family will have these precious photos as a keepsake). I just keep seeing that slide show in my head. Then I told him about the young girl who came to share with us her story, so sad. And then I told him about this exercise we did at the beginning of class:

We were handed a blank sheet of paper and were instructed to write down our feelings and hopes and dreams as she called things out....you find out you are pregnant......you hear the heartbeat for the first time......you go for your ultrasound and see your baby for the first time, it's a boy......finally the day has come and your baby is born........time is flying and now your baby is one and he is having his first birthday......he says I love you mommy for the first time......now he is going to kindergarten and is five years old.....graduation from high school......he is getting married........he is having a baby of his own....

My page was filled with words like excited, happy, nervous, anxious, joyful, elated, long life, healthy, etc.

She then told us to fold our paper in half. We held them up. She said now rip it in half. That is what happens when someone loses a baby. Their hopes and dreams for this child are shattered. As I told John about this exercise I became upset. That is exactly how it feels. Five years ago this month I walked into a doctors office still holding on to the hopes and dreams for my baby. They were shattered when there was no heartbeat. I quietly took John back to his parents and dropped him off to get the boys. I drove home by myself and had a good cry. A counselor that was in class today mentioned a Bible verse. She didn't say what it was but I came home and looked it up. This is the truth I hold on to. This is the verse she shares with Christian families when they have lost a baby.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

I have been meaning to post but I am so busy. Tonight I take the time because I am too exhausted to do anything else and I am waiting on a Boy Scout Class A uniform to wash and dry for Noah's backpacking trip this weekend. He loves this and it so nice to see him passionate about something. This is one area where we do not have to remind him and stay on him about doing things, he does it all independently. Last time he bought some very yucky and somewhat expensive freeze dried food. This time he is going to live on Ramen noodles and Grits ( yes we are southern!). They are lightweight, easy to cook and he likes them. I will be sure to have him a good meal when he gets home Sunday!


Tonight Wyatt was praying at bedtime. He almost always prays for the same things; Lily, the children who don't have food and no mommies and daddies, Jackson (a friend at school that hurt his head) etc. He didn't seem to want to stop praying so he started trying to come up with things. Finally with his last sentence he said, "and help Mason stop saying bad words". Mmmm now that was a good one. Seems my youngest has the biggest potty mouth. He picks up on these words and uses them a lot more than I can stand. Dum dum, stupid, and dummy seem to be his favorites. I cannot get him to stop. I have tried all the other tactics I used with my older kids that worked but they don't on him. Part of the problem is that he has been exposed to them at a much younger age than they were and so he just doesn't quite understand (i think) what he is saying. I guess Wyatt has added another great prayer request to his line up...maybe that will help.

Today as I was driving I realized that in 22 days I will be on a flight heading to China. As my 3 year old would put it, 22 days is not a lot. I agree and I can't wait.

Tomorrow I have to go to a Neonatal Loss class. I am sort of, kind of dreading it. I am afraid I will get emotional and that it will bring old emotions from when we lost our little girl in pregnancy. I have been preparing myself mentally so I am hoping I will be okay. I have been warned to bring tissues. I have not had a patient with a neonatal loss yet but I have watched another nurse take care of a precious little 22 week old baby that had died. It was not as scary as I was afraid it was going to be. Neonatal Loss is one of the hardest things as a L&D nurse I will have to deal with. I will never forget the first time I was in a patients room when they found out their baby was dead, we couldn't find a heart beat, I knew just how devastating that was. As a nurse you feel helpless. There is nothing you can do or say to make it better.

I know this post is all over the place, this is just what is on my mind tonight. The shirt is done and I am tired so off to bed I go! Good night!

6- The first number on the clock this morning when the boys woke up.
5-The number of baskets sitting in front of the fireplace last night.
4-The number of hiding places the Easter Bunny had to find to hide the baskets.
48-The number of Peeps the Easter Bunny brought the boys.
12-The number of Peeps eaten before breakfast.
4-The number of chocolate bunnies and lip pops in the baskets.
2- The number of bunny ears in the baskets.
3-The number of minutes it took for them to go through their whole basket!
1- The number of baskets that sat undiscovered in front of the fireplace because it's recipient is in Ch*na.
2-The number of parents that enjoyed their kids faces and got a few laughs in the process.


I have to work at 7am tomorrow so John and I called the Easter Bunny and asked him to come see us Friday night instead of Saturday night. The Easter Bunny was thrilled to do it a day early and have one less house to visit on Saturday. The boys were so excited last night (even our non-believers) they had trouble going to bed. It actually turned out to be very nice to wake up to the Easter Bunny this morning without the mad dash to get ready for church. We might do this in the future so we can spend the Sunday of Easter only celebrating the resurrection of Jesus and the true meaning of Easter. It was also nice because they all got water guns and were able to go outside this morning and play with them.

(i would post photos but i cannot find my cord or it is broken)

I got an email this morning from the lady that was taking Lily the letter. Turns out the letter didn't translate so well. Baba which is what Chinese children call their dad translated in character to yeast rice cake. That gave me a good laugh. Can you imaging if I had sent that:

Love, Yeast rice cake ( I can just imagine their faces)

But then we got the best surprise. One of the members who have adopted from Lily's orphanage ( just recently- the one who took the pictures for us) offered to have her mom look at it. Then all of a sudden it is in my inbox. Translated. A translation I know I can trust. I am just amazed at how awesome the adoption network is. You just cannot imagine all the support. It is great.
I would post the letter in Chinese. But I cannot figure out how to do it, sorry. I wish I could because it is so cool!

We do not have our official itinerary yet and probably won't get it for a while because our caseworker is in China. She is in the process of meeting a lot of new kids for CWA's Hope Project.
The last Hope Project was a success and this time they will have more kids with a wider age range. Anyway, what we do know is this: We will leave on May 8th at 0730 from our hometown ( yea! I really thought we would have to travel to get a decent ticket). We will arrive in Bejing Saturday afternoon. Our flight from Chicago to Bejing is 14 hours, OUCH! I have only flown twice and either time was less than 3 hours. We will stay in Bejing until Monday morning then fly to Guangzhou and meet Lily that afternoon. From that point on she will be with us, forever. We will stay in Guangzhou until May 21st when we fly out in the early morning and arrive home 10:30 that night. At this time I do not know for sure what else we will be doing but usually the families go to THE GREAT WALL, Tianemen Square and the Forbidden City while in Bejing and other trip while in Guangzhou. We have requested a side trip to visit her orphanage which is about 2 hours away, we are hoping we will be able to, if we feel she can handle it.

Today we booked our flights for China and sent off our payment to Sunshine Travel.
We were pleased and thought the price was reasonable. I can't believe we are actually at this point. Tonight I wrote a letter to Lily, very short and sweet and had it translated online. Another parent adopting from Lily's orphange is going next week and offered to take the letter and some stickers I sent to her. I started making my to do list, and surprisingly it is not as overwhelming as I thought. Thankfully I had done more than I realized along the way. The main thing I have to do is get everything in order to leave our other children here in the care of grandparents. I want to make it easy on them so I am trying to have everything lined out.

Tonight john and i were putting the boys to bed. wyatt started naming off on each finger the people he loved. after naming 10 he said, "and no more 'cause i got no more fingers".

mason fell down a few steps today. i picked him and cradled him in my lap and he said, "i need my icee" (masonise for Ice pack). this child uses ice packs almost everyday on some boo boo. he is obsessed with them. i have had to buy a few more so we always have some in the freezer.

Everytime the phone rang today I got butterflies.I have been so anxious about getting our TA. I finally gave in at 2:30 and called our caseworker. Understandably she was on the phone sharing good news with families that have been waiting 37 months for their NSN adoptions. She called me right back and shared the good news that our TA did arrive today. We will leave for China on May 8th and return to the USA on May 21st. I cannot tell you how I felt when I heard that. It was just a huge relief! We are finally going to China to get our girl!!!!!!!

I have high hopes for today!
Where oh where is our TA?
They say it's been mailed,
But who can tell,
Where Oh where is our TA?

Travel Approval (TA)- noun, The thing Chinese Adoptive families must have to go to China and get there daughter or son is waiting for them in an orphanage.
In a way it is the last step before going to China. It is desparately desired and is way past due!



On another note. I met a family online through an unofficial blog of our agency. They are supposed to be getting their TA also. They have older daughters and are heading to China for their little man. I think we will be traveling together which is great, John and I were first told we would be traveling alone (not happy) but it appears we will be traveling with 2 other families (happy). This family will even be staying in the same hotel for possibly the whole trip. We are not sure who the third family is. Hoping to find out today, if of course that TA arrives!

Trying something new here. This fun little blog has photography contests every week. I was in the mood for something fun, here is my contribution this week. Please go to their site and check it out!


www.iheartfaces.blogspot.com

This is my sweet niece, tired of her auntie taking pictures of her with my new camera. She has the poutiest lips! And you gotta love those eyes!

Today I was driving home from work and I started to think about what I thought I would be doing today. I thought we would be in China preparing to meet our daughter tomorrow. Then I started to think about what that is really going to be like. Like many adoptive parents I often focus on being home with Lily I forget to imagine the exact moment mother-daughter and father-daughter meet will be like. I have heard many adoptive parents say that they cannot find words to express how meeting their child feels. It is so overwhelming and emotional. Even though we are not meeting our daughter tomorrow I will be thinking of her all day. May is not that far and I know we will be meeting her soon, I really wanted to get her now but now I see maybe I actually needed more time. I just hope she hasn't given up on us and knows we are still coming for her.

I had an interesting conversation with my two big boys on the way to the store last night.
Noah said he knew what he wanted from the "Easter Bunny". (the comment was a little odd anyway because our kids don't ask for anything from the EB, they get what they get). The way he said it was with an emphasis on the Easter Bunny in a way that made me look at him. I said what do you mean by "Easter Bunny"? He said well I don't really believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause maybe a little but not the Easter Bunny, think about how old I am. Well I thought it was time so I was glad, we'll just keep this little thing going for a few more years for the BB (baby boys). Then he and Sellers continued to have a conversation about what they believe in and what they don't. To my surprise they may not believe in some things but they told me they wholeheartedly believe in Leprechauns. What???? Seriously he said if he was Swedish or something he might not believe in Leprechauns but since he is mostly Irish he does believe in them. His arguments as to why they exist cracked me up, how is it this very intelligent child could possibly believe in Leprechauns when he doesn't believe in the EB and SC? Too funny.

Last night I was awoken, two things were on my mind. Travel Approval and Stellan. Well sadly the news on Stellan is not very good. I encourage you to pray for this family, they have an amazing story. I am not sure how I learned of their story last year, I think through another site but it is quite a story. Unfortunately this family is facing serious health issues with their infant son. He is in the hospital now with a serious heart condition. This family has a strong relationship with God and have been a witness on their blog for some time.

Now on to the Travel Approval. Well this morning I emailed my caseworker. I asked her several questions and expressed my concerns for not having our TA yet. Within 2 hours I got the BEST news!!!!

OUR TRAVEL APPROVAL IS SOON ON THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our agency heard from the CCAA (the agency that handles China adoptions) and they were told our TA is being signed and mailed. We should get it soon! Just knowing it is truly on it's way is such a relief! We will travel and be back before our immigration papers expire! I am so excited! First I cried, then I called John. We are just thrilled to know everything is OK.

I know most people that read my blog (if anyone actually does :0) ) doesn't really understand what adoptive parents go through. Adoption is hard, hard, hard. Very different from carrying my bio boys because I knew it would end at 9 months. Adoption can go on FOREVER. It is so hard to see all these pictures of Lily and not have her here. She is our daughter, sister, granddaughter and cousin. We all think of her and pray for her daily. I love her so much and I have never held her, never heard her voice, never played with her or taken care of her. It is so hard to explain but so true. Our and her adjustment to life together here may be a bumpy ride but I am ready to jump on. Now please China, I have been patient but we are ready to go get our daughter! Please send us our Travel Approval! Please!

OK, now I feel better. We are having the most fantastic weather here and it appears that Spring has arrived. We may have a little cold snap here and there but the flowers are coming up and the trees are blooming! This weekend we put up a hammock. We love it and the kids and I have had fun relaxing in it. If you don't have one I would highly recommend one. We also bought some more plants for the yard and it is a gradual process. The boys are starting their garden. In the little greenhouse starter kits they planted cucumber, watermelon, tomatoes and I forgot what else. They love it. Last year they only planted tomatoes and it was awesome always having fresh tomatoes! We are going to attempt a little more this year and will probably add year after year until we get it just right. I love this time of year when the world around me awakens.

Are you like me? You put something up in a "special" place and then cannot find it. I do it ALL.THE.TIME! I have yet to find the instruction Manuel to my new camera. Today it was the cord for my camera to hook it up to my computer so I could download pictures. I looked in all my usual places. I couldn't find it anywhere yet I knew I had put it somewhere "special". Thirty minutes later I finally found it. Not in a special place at all but in the junk drawer in my kitchen. Somewhere I look nearly everyday.That is so typical of me! Well I finally downloaded pictures and am going to share some here they are from the last 5 months...

Playing in the fall leaves...

The boys using their imagination, Wyatt was loving the attention.The kids all get an ornament on Christmas Eve. Noah is hanging Lily's on the tree.The boys with their cousins and neighbors playing in our rare snowfall. It was gone by midday.This is a card Sellers made for a girl at school. I found it in his cubbie when I was straightening up one night before bed. I had to take a picture to have a record of it. I especially love how he spells. I call it southern phonics. Shugr is priceless!Wyatt's first bubble gun, he used it until the batteries died, it was a big hit!Me, my dad, and my brother Chris on my dad's 65th Birthday!Papa blowing out the candles with all his grandchildren. (missing Lily though of course)One morning after working late Sellers burst into my room at 7am to ask me what he could do because he was bored. I snapped at him and laid in bed. I was about to get up to apologize to him and here he comes walking into my room with breakfast in bed. This boy is so thoughtful and forgiving.Wyatt picked up a bucket in the garage one day and said "mom, how come we don't got no sand in our yard to play with"? The next weekend John did this. Very simple but they stayed in the sandbox for hours.This is my favorite picture of Lily. We got it yesterday. It is a picture of her when she received our package. She is carrying it and has the best smile. Seeing her face makes it worth every ridiculous penny it cost to send her that package.

I have been so busy, which is probably a good thing so I wouldn't think too much about the fact that I am not going to China in the next 2 weeks like I thought I was. I am really okay with it now because time is flying so I know that the day will quickly approach for us to leave.
Things are going really well at work. I like it a lot and feel like I am learning but it is A LOT to learn and it will take a long time before I can birth a baby by myself (nurse wise). I have the sweetest preceptor, she is so patient with me and does a great job teaching me. Sometimes I have to be pushed because I still like to have her right there if I need her. There is a lot I am doing independently and I feel like I am in a good place for having been there a month.

Since we are not going to China until May we decided we are not going to put Lily in public school this fall. We do not feel that this is enough time for her to get ready. We are going to home school her and send her to a 3 hour church kindergarten at the school the baby boys go to. We think it is the best thing to help reinforce those early skills. After that year we will decide where to go from there. I feel much better about this because I was very nervous about her going to regular school for so many hours a day so soon. I also like the idea of her having some additional biblical learning. Most likely she has never heard of Jesus or the Bible so it will be nice to have her exposed to that more too.

Tonight we are celebrating for St. Patrick's Day. We don't normally do this but I was in the mood to celebrate. We are having Corn Beef, Cabbage, Rice, cornbread, green cupcakes, and green kool-aid. My brother and his family are coming over so it should be fun. I will take some pictures and maybe download them here. I have been so lazy about posting pictures...if only I could get my camera to do what I want it t

I have managed to look for the positives in not going to China until May because it looks like that will be it. I chased away the grey cloud and am just looking forward to the day we do go. I know that when she is here and with us the wait will be long forgotten. I just hope she is not in China thinking we are not coming. It would break my heart. If we receive our TA ever then we will hopefully be leaving on May 8th and most probably get Lily the day after Mothers Day!

Gotta go to bed because I have to get up early to work my first weekend. Thankfully I won't have to do it too often because people like working the weekend for the extra diff.

This little grey cloud has been chasing me. I could see it. I could feel it. I didn't want it to get me. I was doing okay until this morning when I learned that our agency would not allow travel from mid April to First of May. With that I knew that we were in bad shape. With no TA now it was possibly going to be May before we went to China. Suddenly that grey cloud grew bigger and heavier. I was at work with a lot of people who don't know me well and certainly don't understand how I feel. I tried to explain it like this: It is like going to the doctor at 9 months pregnant, you are so excited because you know any day you are going to meet your precious baby and then the doctor looks at you and says, I am sorry you are going to have to carry your baby 2 more months. (I do work in L&D after all) All day I fought back tears and exchanged emails with my agency. Tonight as I read my email from them it seems that we are not going until May. I am so disappointed. I am trying to see the positives of this (are there?) and know that this is the way God planned it from the beginning. I am just praying for a miracle.

On a side note: I got an email today from the agency that sent our care package to Lily, she got it and they have a whole camera worth of pictures for us. That might just help me get through this or make it worse. Who knows?

Chinese has got to be the hardest language to learn. We have been trying to learn some but I am sure that with our southern accents Lily will just look at us like we are crazy. For some reason the sounds are just so hard to make. I really want to learn certain things before we go but I don't know. It has taken 3 lessons to just learn 3 words or phrases.

Ni Hao
Ni Hao Ma
Xie Xie

I cannot imagine what it is going to be like to have a 7 year old child that we do not share the same language. I know it will be hard but we will get through it. I just keep thinking about a benefit that I read on a bloggy friends post. She was actually thankful for the language difference because it forced them to look at each other more and gesture and touch more. I have been holding on to that but I am not feeling too comfident that I am going to learn anything useful by the time we go!

I cannot sleep at night there is so much on my mind.
Lily. The boys.
Traveling to China.
The dangers of the pond across the street.
My job.
John's job. (his company was just bought, they will layoff 16,000-yikes!)
The faces of the children on THE JOURNEY who are so hungry.
The teens that are abusing our neighborhood.
Your plan for me, is it what I think?
The headlines. Scary, just scary.

When I cannot sleep I pray, pray, pray and finally I peacefully drift off to sleep.
I cannot imagine having so much on my mind and no one to turn to.
Thank you for the peace, for holding me in the palm of your hand. I still worry but deep down I know it will all be alright.

Where o where has out TA gone, Where o where can it be?

I really thought we would get it this week. I was surprised when this week came and went and still no Travel Approval. I don't know now if we will be able to make it to China in March, we may not be able to go until April and that makes me sad. Seeing these pictures of Lily the last few weeks makes me more anxious than ever to go get her. I am going to give it this week since we had to deal with the Chinese New Year during our wait but if Friday comes and goes and no TA, I am going to be seriously disappointed!

You just gotta love the South, my kids are out of school today. School was canceled because our often gets it wrong weather people predicted lots of SNOW! We awoke this morning to NO SNOW, none at all. No surprise here. That is what southerners are used to. I hope they are right when they predicted that Saturday will be 78 degrees! Now that's the weather I want to see!

Wyatt has been talking a lot lately about going to Columbia to get married. I don't know where this all came from but the things he says cracks me up, like:

On the phone with his Nama he said out of the blue, "you better miss me when I go to Columbia to get married". Or...

When I was putting him to bed one night and he said, "I'm going to Columbia to get married next Friday". Or...

When I was looking at something on my computer and he saw a picture of a little girl he said, "that's the girl I'm gonna marry, the one with long hair".

I can't help but engage him in conversation about this, I even filmed it because he is so funny.
Apparently next Friday he is going to Columbia (which he says is very far away) to marry a girl with long brown hair, he doesn't know her name, he is going to live in her room and she is going to live downstairs, he has about $1.50 to take care of her (which he claims is enough) and we better miss him.